The Bike

Ya know, some things are pretty much true, no matter what.

Well, it was the day that my baby girl (of seven years) decided that she would learn to ride her bike once and for all. No more training wheels.  Was it fun? Um, I would say not! She fussed and moaned and at one point early on in this little life adventure she actually threw herself onto the ground in a fake crash in an attempt to receive the attention she was sure she deserved, but certainly was not receiving on any scale large enough to be remotely acceptable to her.

After a much-needed trip home from the park and a lengthy breathing session for her dad and me, we decided to return back to the park for another go at it, and wow, she could ride!  She could not steer worth a damn, but that was O.K. As long as she stayed on a straight shot path she was good.

So why could she not maneuver a curve? Well, I will tell you. I realized after watching and watching that when an obstacle appeared in her path she would stare fixedly not at where she wanted to go, but exactly the opposite. She would focus on the most dreaded possible outcome. For example, in swooping down the big trail in this beautifully master-planned park her focus would suddenly shift from wheee…, flying down the hill with the wind in my hair, to oh my gosh that is the biggest trash can that I have ever seen in my life. I hope I don’t hit it. It’s coming right at me ….OOOOUUUUCH! The result? Tears and agony and her first real bike tumble ever. A painful lesson repeated several times before mastered. Now she is a pro. 

  

I did not realize until much later what a great life lesson this was. That we must focus on where we want to go, not on the obstacle in our way.  Not just when riding a bike, but always. If we can accomplish this, and believe me, I am not saying it is always easy, but if we stay focused, even the biggest obstacle can be circumvented and our desired goal snatched for our very own keeping.  And I do believe that this is pretty much true no matter what.

memory

As a child I did not fear people. I already knew that people were evil, cruel and cold, but I also knew that people could die; therefore ending their reign. Demons, on the other hand, had their own set of rules. They did not die, could be lurking anywhere in the dark and would only appear during vulnerable moments. These small, flying monkey like creatures, blacker than the night itself, with tails that ended in  pointy arrows, frequently visited my tiny bedroom.

Marilyn Manson Tarot

They would swoop and swirl around my room at night. Terrified, I would lay in bed and alternate between staring so hard that I felt my eyes would pop, and squeezing, squeezing my eyes shut in the hopes they would be gone when I opened them again. Which of course, I always did, as I could not let the Keres swoop for too long untethered by my stare. And which of course, they never were - gone that is.